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Most Girls

“I wanna be like most girls”

When I first heard Hailee Steinfeld’s song “Most Girls”, I was intrigued by the lyrics, although initially confused thinking that her message was about conformity. Fortunate enough to catch her explain them on a radio show a few days later, she expressed how inspiration came from a boy’s comment, “you’re not like most girls”. The seeming compliment turned diss, lead to her aha moment of “I think that girls are amazing, so I want to be like most girls!” Hailee hopes that girls know how wonderful they are, no matter how they choose to look and live. Just listen to her uplifting chorus lyrics:

Most girls are smart and strong and beautiful
Most girls, work hard, go far, we are unstoppable
Most girls, our fight to make every day
No two are the same
I wanna be like, I wanna be like, most girls

For radio version, listen here:
Most Girls – Hailee Steinfeld

For acoustic version, listen here:
Most Girls (Acoustic) – Hailee Steinfeld

I also want to look like most girls, which is why I chose to painstakingly reconstruct my breasts after my bilateral mastectomy with the DIEP Flap surgery. It’s amazing what women go through to create breasts after having either a prophylactic bilateral mastectomy (PBM) following a BRCA1 or 2 genetic mutation diagnosis or a bilateral mastectomy, because of breast cancer (BCBM). Plans of having either 2-3 surgeries, whether expanders are inserted or fat grafting is needed to fill in divots, can turn into 5-7 operations due to infections and problems with skin-scar tissue, necrosis-implants turning…you name it, it can happen.

I know that our vaginas and ovaries are the body parts that actually make us female, but our breasts truly are the visual cue that we are women and feminine and sexy by cultural standards. I feel both sympathy for women who can’t have reconstruction and admiration for women who choose not to; they confidently “go flat” and find solace in the site called BreastFree. I don’t know…breasts are only one thing that helps me feel like most girls:

I love to put on lipstick even when I don’t have any other makeup on or anywhere to go; Mac’s Twig has been a 25-year favorite!

I love to wear skirts and dresses, and be fancy with costume jewelry even when I’m unshowered in activewear.

I love hair that can be tossed into a messy ponytail like ten times a day. Unfortunately, I rarely actually take time to style it.

I love to show my love for others by asking how they are really doing and giving hugs in both good times and bad.

I love to do anything that makes me feel like a beautiful, intelligent, sensual, spirit full woman!

Not every woman enjoys things like the above mentioned, which are typically labeled as girly or feminine. Fortunately, it feels like we are coming into a time in history when we can redefine what it means to be a woman. We are so much more than our body parts. When it comes down to it, female energy is fueled by the power of love. When we use it toward one another, we shall see how unstoppable we can be together! Just look at the revolutionary work The Representation Project has done.

What do you do to feel like “most girls”?